it's ok to say this

i know all kids have a tendency to be assholes and 2 year olds especially embrace this, but dang, sometimes they are not. for me, that elusive "sometimes" happens to be right now. oh my, how sweet it is to be your mama. i've taken on a couple of part-time jobs that i really like, but that cause life to be incredibly busy - we're bursting at the seams, and the desire to rush through the motions can be pretty overwhelming. but slowing down sometimes sure has it's benefits.

this evening as i was putting david to bed and as we rolled through our usual motions daivd said, "put your head on my pillow, mama. covers. covers on, mama." and i know tomorrow i may pay for this indulgence - the break in our routine - when it becomes a ploy for an extended bedtime, but tonight it was the real thing: my kid, my precious child, being precious. and it went on...

"sing the song, mommy." but i couldn't figure out which one so finally i said, "ok buddy, you start." and the sweet words flowed out: home, me come home, home when i with you, alabama, mumble, mumble, apple of my eye, home where i with you."

and that's my pay check, plus a mighty deposit in the bank to get me through the next round of how-big-of-a-jerk-can-i-be-without-mommy-completely-losing-her-shit. but alas, we are all safe for now.

and on a separate note, why do parents often feel it is necessary to rain on happy parental parades with comments like, "just wait till he's 3," or "enjoy every minute, when he's a teenager he won't want anything to do with you"? that level of bitterness is neither warranted nor becoming. we are all well aware of how f-ing crazy children are and i'm quite certain that every age and stage comes with it's own set of new (and therefor worse) challenges. but let us look at each others sweet children and smile; they are precious. the "terrible" twos don't last forever and neither does anything else. whenever possible, let us try not to scare or one-up each other, but to smile and know that this too (whether bad or god) shall pass. when my kid is being super nice, that's cool because your kid will be super nice too, sometimes. and conversely when you see that i am about to completely lose my shit (or that i already have) because my kid is being a jerk and i just can't take it anymore, know that sometimes you look like a crappy parent because your kid is being a complete jerk, too.

this story & subsequent reflection were originally experienced in august 2013. david's vocabulary and sentence structure have grown as has ability to be utterly charming as well as a complete asshole, so i decided the sentiment was still relevant. xoxo

a lofty goal well underway

i've been working, traveling, redfinning, raising a toddler, not finishing books for bookclub. and wanting to knit. really, really wanting to knit, but not knitting. or rather knitting a stitch here and there, but distractedly and ultimately to no avail.

but finally two months and four tries in i imperfectly finished david's extremely simple fall sweater.

and with the confidence that stems from task completion i decided to attempt to knit sweaters for all four cousins by the holidays.

i'm half way there.

this sweater for josey is one of my favorite finished products. to make a good thing better it was reported to me that josey asked, "how did auntie helen know i would love these buttons?"

Away We Go!

product reviews are new for me (except for the time i warned everyone against this which resulted in a best effort of that which only she could love), but i was very fortunate to receive a (signed!!) copy of a fabulous new scholastic preschool book and i thought, hmmm... this should be shared.

and so here we are, our first official show and tell.

i know it's cliche, but my toddler boy happens to love all things transportation.

his mother, on the other hand, happens not to be that interested (i try though, lord i try).

but this book appeals to both of us. ahh yes, it does, because it opens up an endless stream of crafting possibilities, a few of which we have already tried. ("no, no, david does it, mommy." sharing is hard for everyone.)

and the best part: you don't have to come up with the ideas on your own. the author, chieu anh urban, has a beautiful blog with an endless stream of project ideas.

dinner time: check

bath time: check

you can even plan a party around this book

"away we go!" is being marketed to the pre-school crowd, but i think it would be great to use in elementary ed settings as well. all the pictures are made of geometric shapes and would translate perfectly to math centers.

this is what david and i made together:

and then in case i wasn't sure he was totally into all of this, i found he stashed the whole lot away in his backpack (and dang, that's cute): 

and so it is with great pleasure that i announce the first ever give away (kind of... there was that time i gave you this, and this, not to mention the knitting club patterns here and here and here, and my heart, which i've offered too many times to link.)

but i digress...

it is with great pleasure that i announce the first ever give away of this sort. i will send a copy of "away we go" to one lucky winner who will be chosen at random. to enter, either leave a comment here or on the link to this post on facebook or google +. make sure it's the link from my page, so i see you. you can also just like or +1 if a comment is too much of a stretch. i know you so well....

the winner will be chosen next friday. be sure to share with your parent and educator friends!

knitting club meeting 2: french press cozie

KNITTING CLUB * meeting 2* february 2013 * french press cozie i recently saw a french press cozie at a friend's house and thought, dang, that's cute. and smart. there's just nothing worse than not hot coffee and nothing better than an easy knit-fix. although we typically use an automatic drip coffee maker (lazy americans), we keep a french press on hand for certain occasions like camping and power outages. don't you? in addition to being super cute on your own brunch table, these make quite a unique gift. just remember when you're trying to think of a way to thank me for sharing this with you, i already have a couple of my own. you can send me some nice coffee beans or biscotti instead. this pattern is quick and easy. don't let the mock cables intimidate you. once you get the swing of things you'll be turning these out in no time. if you have any questions, please email me at hkruskamp@gmail.com or contact me through the blog, creativenormaltown.com. if you'd like a printer friendly version, just shoot me an email or leave a comment and i'll get it to you in a jiffy! materials either bulk weight yarn or 2 skiens worsted or lighter held together* pair of straight needles us 10 (6mm) 3 buttons * you have a lot of freedom when it comes to choosing your materials. this pattern takes very little yarn (less than 2 ounces), so it's a great way to use up small extras. i would recommend choosing something that is easy care, however, because it will likely need to be washed from time to time. i used cotton worsted weight yarn for the blue cozie, and a natural worsted weight cotton and dk weight easy care wool for the other. the sky's the limit. go cray cray. abbreviations 1x1 rib = k1, p1 sl1 = slip next stitch purl-wise psso = pass slipped stitch over (pass over the stitches you’ve worked) directions co 40 rows 1-4) 1x1 rib row 5) 1x1 rib for 8 sts, k2, p2, k3, p2, k2, p2, k2, p2, k3, p2, k2, 1x1 rib for 8 sts row 6) 1x1 rib for 8 sts, p2, k2, p3, k2, p2, k2, p2, k2, p3, k2, p2, 1x1 rib for 8 sts row 7) 1x1 rib for 8 sts, k2, p2, sl1, k2, psso, p2, k2, p2, k2, p2, sl1, k2, psso, p2, k2, 1x1 rib for 8 sts row 8) 1x1 rib for 8 sts, p2, k2, p1, yo, p1, k2, p2, k2, p2, k2, p1, yo, p1, k2, p2, 1x1 rib for 8 sts repeat rows 5-8 6 times (adjust this number so that piece measure approximately 6”) 1x1 rib for 4 rows cast off in 1x1 pattern loosely attach buttons evenly along right side. buttons should fit through the knitting on the other side, but you can attach loops of yarn if necessary.

KNITTING CLUB meeting 1.5: valentine's special

KNITTING CLUB * meeting 1.5 * valentine's day 2013 * heart felt hedgehog inspired by a display in my local "paper source" storefront, i bring to you a special installment of knitting club which involves absolutely no knitting. this sweet little hedgehog is made entirely from felt, thread, and 2 buttons. not a lick of yarn in sight. my sewing skills are pretty lacking, so rest assured that you, yes you, CAN make this scruffy little hedgehog. if you have any questions, please email me at hkruskamp@gmail.com or contact me through the blog, creativenormaltown.com. i still don't know how to attach printer-friendly documents to this blog, so if you want the printer friendly pattern, just shoot me an email or leave a comment and i'll get it to you in a jiffy! materials* 1 felted green thrift store sweater 2 4x4" golden felt scraps 2 4x4" blue felt scraps red wool scraps for hearts thread to match your felt colors 2 black buttons pattern pieces (at end of post/after the jump, resized & printed to 8.5x11” paper) pillow stuffing procedure tape pattern pieces 1a and 1b together and cut 2 from your main felt color cut out 2 of pieces 2 and 3 from the colors of your choice cut out 9 of pattern piece 4, the heart (i only sewed hearts on one side of the hedgehog body. if you want hearts on both sides, cut 16) pin and sew 7 hearts on the hedgehog body (see picture for placement details) sew button eye on piece 2 (see picture for placement details) pin and sew each side of the hedgehog separately using coordinating thread place hedgehog wrong-sides together and sew around edge leaving one side of piece 2 open stuff hedgehog through open end of piece 2 and sew up piece 2 sew on heart nose with 2 remaining hearts share with someone you love. xoxo

knitting club: meeting 1

KNITTING CLUB * meeting 1 * january 2013 * fingerless mittens these fingerless mittens knit up quickly, make great gifts, and are perfect for those of us addicted to touch screen devices. i’ve found them an indispensable addition to my cool weather gear and cool weather gifting, and thus they are the perfect first project for knitting club! have fun with these - try new color combinations, switch colors between cuffs, go with a self-striping yarn, make the arm-band longer, adorn them with felt flowers, go nuts - be unafraid! if you run into any trouble, let me know and we’ll work it out! this pattern is meant to fit the average woman, but because they aren’t enclosed at the top, the sizing is pretty friendly to a variety of hand sizes making them perfect for almost anyone.   if you have any questions, please email me at hkruskamp@gmail.com or contact me through the blog, creativenormaltown.com. this pattern is based on these super cute mittens by midnight knitter. if you’re interested in a mitten with a top, be sure to try her pattern! email me or leave a comment on this post if you would like a printer friendly version (or if you would like to tell me how to attach a printer friendly version... xoxo). materials yarn: 1 skein worsted weight OR 2 lighter weight skeins in complimentary colors held together (shown: 1 skein dk weight & 1 skein fingering weight) US 7 double pointed needles (4) or size to obtain gauge of 5 sts = 1” stitch holder (can be store-bought, but a large safety pin or scrap yarn will do in a pinch) abbreviations k - knit m1 - make one, insert right needle into loop just below next stitch and place onto left needle, knit loop. (you are adding a stitch here. if this is new for you, look at a few youtube videos and you’ll be a pro in no time!) st - stitch sts - stitches k2tog - knit to together (this is a decrease) directions BOTH MITTENS: cast on 30, divide evenly among 3 needles (10 stitches each), and join for working in the round (no need to mark the beginning - just use your cast on tail as a guide). work in 2x1 ribbing (knit, knit, purl) for 17 rounds. work in stockinette (each stitch knit) for 5 rounds. MITTEN 1: round 1: needle 1: k to 2 sts from end, m1, k2 needle 2: k1, m1, k to end needle 3: k across round 5: needle 1: k to 2 sts from end, m1, k2 needle 2: k3, m1, k to end needle 3: k across round 9: needle 1: k to 2 sts from end, m1, k2 needle 2: k5, m1, k to end needle 3: k across round 2: k across all needles (32 sts) round 6: k across all needles (36 sts) round 10: k across all needles (40 sts) round 3: needle 1: k to 2 sts from end, m1, k2 needle 2: k2, m1, k to end needle 3: k across round 7: needle 1: k to 2 sts from end, m1, k2 needle 2: k4, m1, k to end needle 3: k across round 11: needle 1: k to 2 sts from end, m1, k2 needle 2: k6, m1, k to end needle 3: k across round 4: k across all needles (34 sts) round 8: k across all needles (38 sts) round 12: k across all needles (42 sts) round 13: needle 1: k to 5 sts from end, place last 5 sts on holder needle 2: place first 5 sts on holder, k to end needle 3: k across k 10 rounds next round: needle 1: k10, slip last st to needle 2 needle 2: k2tog, k across needle 3: k3, k2tog, k across MITTEN 2: round 1: needle 1: k across needle 2: k to 1 stitch before end, m1, k1 needle 3: k2, m1, k to end round 5: needle 1: k across needle 2: k to 3 sts before end, m1, k3 needle 3: k2, m1, k to end round 9: needle 1: k across needle 2: k to 5 sts before end, m1, k5 needle 3: k2, m1, k to end round 2: k across all needles (32 sts) round 6: k across all needles (36 sts) round 10: k across all needles (40 sts) round 3: needle 1: k across needle 2: k to 2 sts before end, m1, k2 needle 3: k2, m1, k to end round 7: needle 1: k across needle 2: k to 4 sts before end, m1, k4 needle 3: k2, m1, k to end round 11: needle 1: k across needle 2: k to 6 sts before end, m1, k6 needle 3: k2, m1, k to end round 4: k across all needles (34 sts) round 8: k across all needles (38 sts) round 12: k across all needles (42 sts) round 13: needle 1: k across needle 2: k to 5 sts from end, place last 5 sts on holder needle 3: place first 5 sts on holder, k to end k 10 rounds next round: needle 1: k4, k2tog, k across needle 2: k10, slip last st to needle 3 needle 3: k2tog, k across FINISHING BOTH MITTENS: 2x1 ribbing (k2, p1) for 5 rounds, bind off loosely finish thumb - move stitches from holder to 2 needles, pick up 5 stitches, k around (15 sts). 2x1 ribbing for 5 rounds. bind off loosely. sew in loose ends. enjoy!

with love, merry christmas

it's hard to add any meaningful words to the dialog around the senseless and heartbreaking tragedy that occurred 10 days ago in connecticut, but i needed to mention here that i remember. 

we are joyfully shifting into christmas eve, moving from the fun and excitement of preparing for this holiday into the reality of experiencing its wonder and magic (our first year to talk about santa: hohoho; preparing for the drive home: guess who we're going to see in just 5 days, just 2 days, tomorrow...). 

but i still remember. 

and like so many others, i am working to strike a balance between grief and the celebration of the season and of our precious lives in general. the temptation to throw myself in one direction or the other is tempting, but ultimately it would be a sham either way. to forget, to move on completely, to turn and walk away - how nice that would be, but how dishonest. 

but to be consumed with grief and anger and anguish, well that is nearly just as shameful. i own this tragedy as a mother, a daughter, a sister, as an educator, a mental health professional, as an american, and mostly as a human being. but it's not mine to be emotionally consumed by. that's selfish and disrespectful to those families in true despair. 

so i strike a balance between these options. i stumble through prayers to the earth, to god, to no one. i read one more book to the little guy, sing one more song, feel grateful that he's so young and doesn't think it's creepy when i hold my nose close to his sweet body, his hair, taking in a bit more. i sign petitions, i talk about regulations, make a donation, attend a vigil. i wonder if there will still be school counseling positions when it's time for me to go back to work, or if funding for my role will be replaced by funding for armed guards. and then i wonder which i'd prefer, if i had to choose just one, when my precious little dons a backpack and heads into the school house. 

and then i bake some cookies, make hot chocolate, visit neighbors, old friends, wrap a gift, laugh, dance with david and sadie, kiss my husband. 

if you look at our house and you see the lights shining, the carefully hung stockings, the parents up late drinking wine, assembling toys, please know that we do these things with joy and sorrow. that our heads and our hearts are not turned away. that we are, as you are too, i hope, facing life courageously, honoring those who are gone (and dear god they are missed), as well as those who are here (my child, you make me desperate with love) with a delicate and imperfect balance of remembering and celebrating. 

whatever your religious beliefs, may the spirit of the season bring you some joy, some solace, some comfort, some light. 

 with love, merry christmas.